HELLO

Posted by: Ayodele on January 28th, 2009

Hey People, just checking in on you guys. Haven’t had time to sit in front of my computer long enough to blog…it’s due to circumstances far beyond my control. Thanks to you all for stopping by in my absence, hope everyone is doing ok.

I think the time has finally come for me to confess that I need some time off. Please, bear with me. Will be back as soon as I’m able to.

Please continue to stop by, don’t give up on me o, and continue to visit the sites on my blogroll.

You all have a wonderful day!!!

Read: HELLO »


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Posted by: Ayodele on January 28th, 2009

Happy New Year

Read: HAPPY NEW YEAR! »


MERRY CHRISTMAS

Posted by: Ayodele on December 29th, 2008

Remain Blessed as you enjoy the Season!

A very Merry Christmas to you all!

Merry ]Xmas

Read: MERRY CHRISTMAS »


TODAY’S FUNNIES

Posted by: Ayodele on November 26th, 2008

A drunk stumbles across a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?”

The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preacher..I sure am.”

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. “Have you found Jesus?” the preacher asked. “Nooo, I haven’t!” said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, “Now, brother, have you found Jesus?” “Noooo, I have not Reverend.”

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, “My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?”

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher… “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
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A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees herneighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’tknow how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”
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One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?” After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. “Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked. The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.

Read: TODAY’S FUNNIES »


NUNS IN TOWN

Posted by: Ayodele on November 24th, 2008

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances and Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.

It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire’s Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGivney entered the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.

Nuns in Town

Read: NUNS IN TOWN »


MARRIAGE RIGHTS

Posted by: Ayodele on November 18th, 2008

A scene at City Hall in San Francisco.

“Next.”
“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”
“Names?”
“Tim and Jim Jones.”
“Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance. “
“Yes, we’re brothers.”
“Brothers? You can’t get married.”
“Why not? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”
“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”
“Incest? No, we are not gay.”
“Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?”
“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”
“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples
who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay,
you can get married to a woman.”
“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as
I have. Just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman.
I want to marry Jim.”
“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”
“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license.
Next.”

“Hi. We are here to get married.”
“Names?”
“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”
“Who wants to marry whom?”
“We all want to marry each other.”
“But there are four of you!”
“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship. “
“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”
“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”
“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”
“Since when are you standing on tradition?”
“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”
“Who says? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the merrier. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution
guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”
“All right, all right.
Next?”

“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”
“In what names?”
“David Deets.”
“And the other man?”
“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”
“Marry yourself? What do you mean?”
“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”
“That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”

Read: MARRIAGE RIGHTS »


LIFE IS A GIFT

Posted by: Ayodele on November 17th, 2008

LifeThere was a blind girl who hated herself just because she’s blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He’s always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. “Just take care of my eyes dear.”

This is how human brain changes when status change.

Only few remember what life was before, and who’s always been there even in the most painful situations.

Today before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can’t speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who’s crying out for a companion. Today before you complain about life, think of someone who died too early. Before you complain about your children, think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep, think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another, remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one maker. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around

Life is a gift- Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, And fulfill it.

Read: LIFE IS A GIFT »


THE LEAVE APPLICATIONS

Posted by: Ayodele on November 13th, 2008

See how people write Leave Applications. It’s a complete murder of English language, but too funny to ignore.

THE LEAVE APPLICATIONS:
An employee applied for leave as follows:

“Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From an employee who was performing the “mundane” ceremony of his 10 year old son:

“As I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:

“As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.”

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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10’clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A leave letter to the Headmaster:

“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

“As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Covering note:

“I am enclosed herewith…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another one:

“Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actual letter written for application of leave:

“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Letter writing:

“I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A candidate’s job application:

“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female’… As I am both (!!) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Read: THE LEAVE APPLICATIONS »


TODAY’S FUNNIES

Posted by: Ayodele on November 12th, 2008

Nice One from Readers Digest:

People
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: ‘Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.’ He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: ‘Happy Birthday!’!! I nearly died!!!

Read: TODAY’S FUNNIES »


BOYS WILL BE BOYS

Posted by: Ayodele on November 12th, 2008

Boys

Boys

Love and Infatuation

Boys

Boys

Read: BOYS WILL BE BOYS »



Latest Posts

1. HELLO
2009-01-28 11:34:40

2. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2009-01-28 11:03:40

3. MERRY CHRISTMAS
2008-12-29 15:53:22

4. TODAY'S FUNNIES
2008-11-26 18:49:28

5. NUNS IN TOWN
2008-11-24 21:40:33

6. MARRIAGE RIGHTS
2008-11-18 23:08:57

7. LIFE IS A GIFT
2008-11-17 15:18:55

8. THE LEAVE APPLICATIONS
2008-11-13 21:05:40

9. TODAY'S FUNNIES
2008-11-12 21:57:49

10. BOYS WILL BE BOYS
2008-11-12 11:18:04

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