TODAY’S FUNNIES
A drunk stumbles across a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.
He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preacher..I sure am.”
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. “Have you found Jesus?” the preacher asked. “Nooo, I haven’t!” said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, “Now, brother, have you found Jesus?” “Noooo, I have not Reverend.”
The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, “My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?”
The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher… “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
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A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees herneighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’tknow how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”
Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”
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One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?” After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. “Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked. The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.
Hello. I am 
